Laugh ur head off
1. When I was a kid, Pussy means Cat, Sex means Gender, DICK was a name, And Bang was a sound, Whats happening to this Generation?
2. You drank garri twice today, buy #100 recharge card and get 10mb, came on Facebook and wrote ''Money no be problem'
Ur case dey court
3. You dey owe mama ikenna #50 and and you dey wear ''My money grow like grass T-shirt''
Wehdone sir!
4. You fit pay #5000 enter club but for church na #20 be your offering
God is watching you o
5. You're too big to dance in church but you go gaga crazy when you hear the (gbedu wey dey burst brain)
God dey watch you too o
6. You're married but still chases other ladies and you claim you're going for refresher courses
Your cup go soon full
7. Just because you met him in a bus and he bought you gala, you cum store his name as ''Bros gala''
Sista tank you o
8. You're an O'level holder but you sponsor your girl for university
My broda, you be scholarship board?
9. You dey inside hotel room snap picture come upload and write ''Home Sweet Home''
Your Mata Dey God's Hand
10. You enter public transport #600 to go shoprite go snap picture with other people's goods,
Abeg wetin i wan tell you?''
11. Do you know that 90% of Girls Urinate On Their Body While Bathing ?
12. Dangote did not send 'I love you Jesus to 25
people before he get rich' please stop disturbing
me or else I will curse ooo
13. NEPA is the Major cause of unwanted Pregnancy in Nigeria
Everythng starts when she Enters the Room to Charge Her Phone
14. Salary 20k, Phone 400k, Weavon 30k. And you go to church to ask God for a Miracle, When you are already Performing magic
15. If You Were Ask To Collect N3,000.
From All Your EX How Much Will You Get
As For Me I Will Get N180,000k
16. I overheard a girl talking to her BF, initially I thought she was talking to God, because the things she asked for only God can provide them
17. When the devil fails to destroy you, it sends you a girlfriend from MBA_ISE
18. Plz Know your priorities and spend your money wisely. Don't go and buy selfie stick when your armpit really needs a shaving stick.
19. Marriage is like jamb
You will be admiring UniBen & UNN buh last last end up in OmoPoly
20. Don't ever insult or challenge d woman who cook ur food bcos #20 can buy Rat Poison.
My hands no dy ooo
21. For Those Of You Who Went To Private School And Are Intelligent, What Is The Past Tense Of GOtv?
22. Some have bae but can not cheat
.Some can cheat but have no bae . I have bae and i can la la la what do yu want 2 hear? Amebo
23. Guys plz if u are dating my future WIFE plz take it easy on her, don't make her shout words like harder, don't stop, ride on
24. Condoms are for weak ass men, real men fuck quickly & pull out before HIV notices.
25. Some chicks be like:"I can't cook my mom didn't teach me babe."
Now tell me,who taught you doggystyle hehh??
26. Why do Ladies with Gap Teeth Always Apologize Like.
"Baby I'm Thorry , It Vont Hapfen Again."?
27. It's only African parents dat will advice you for 6hours & still tell you "I don't have much to say"..
28. After having sex with many guyz some girls we still call that area private part, for ur information is not private but public.
29. I am done with breaking people's heart
Am now focusing on the spinal cord
30. It's only in Nigeria movies that you will see an angel with a tribal mark
31. After what Ramos did to salah, I now understand why RAMS are killed during SALAH
#
UCL
fans
32. True love is when you wear your Girlfriend's underwear to show Other girls that you are already taken.
34. Some be dating an ugly girl & be lyk anoda man's food is anoda man's poison, my frnd poison na poison ntin lyk anoda man food
35. She is nt good in bed
She is nt good in bed
Ma brother hv u try d table, chair or floor, she must b good SOMWIE.
36. Some Ladies On Facebook They Look Like Beyonce. In Real Life,they Look Like Mugabe.
37. Ladiesī
Pls Try as Much as Possible to Look Like the Person on ur Profile Pic.
This is the 10th Time my Cousin is Waisting Transport
38. U came to kidnap me with a G-Wagon and u expect me to shout. Abeg shift make I balance well.
39. Cigarettes and weed are for small boys, real men smoke mosquito coil
40. If you're too happy in a relationship, just know you're the Side Chic. Main Chics don't usually have peace of mind.
41. I have never seen someone having heart beat than a guy who impregnate a soldier daughter.
He'll start chewing water, end up drinking rice
42. Guys, whatever you do in this life, don't offend your village people
My neighbour won 500k from bet9ja and his girlfriend washed it with his trousers.
43. Child of God and you still have sex with condom
Isn't God's protection enough for you?
44. This days, Davido's girlfriend trend more than some nigerian artist. When last you hear from TerryG?
45. This is Nigeria where girls borrow make-up and dress just to visit a guy who borrow room from his friend.
Too much Confusion and Transmissions
46. Since i was born and now i am getting old, I've never seen the wife of a president pregnant.
Brothers and sister have you seen?
47. Some girls will plait their hair and their forehead will be shining as if their brain is using solar energy.
Lemme mind my business sef.
48. Men are like BLUETOOTH CONNECTION. When you're beside them, they stay connected. But when you're away they search for NEW DEVICES.
49. How Chinese people choose their kids name. Very simple! Just throw their pot or pans down the stairs and listen to sound, ''Ding-Ping-Wong-Chung-Feng''. sweet 16 court wears
50. Don't trust a girl who doesn't use her father's name on social media. If she can deny her father, my brother who're you?